The Woodlayson Litter

Ah, at long last, I sit at my comfy chair facing the soft, reassuring glow of the screen. It's been so long. What shall we talk about? I could tell you all about how we moved Zach and Kristie to their new place and how no one let me pick up heavy stuff and how on the ride home I was treated to Hot Now Krispy Kreme doughnuts and oh, so sadly, couldn't eat more than two. I could tell you about the cruise we're going to go on next January to the Bahamas on Royal Caribbean (not that Carnival bullshit) and how there's a skating rink on the boat and how it's all pretty much paid for by someone who's not me because it's a business trip. How cool is that? I could tell you about the insane busy-ness that has been my week but I shudder to think and anyway, that's boring.

But if I could tell you just one thing that happened this week, I would tell you about the new additions to our family.

< Cat Blog >

Nibbler was preggers. Surprise!

Jaimie totally called it a few days ago, but Chris and I were all, "Nah, she's just getting fat because she's being fed regularly now and her metabolism doesn't know what to do with itself. We've seen it before." Which we had. Chris had one cat that looked like a kitten when he first brought it home from the dumpster outside his work. He proceeded to feed Izzy to her heart's content and her wittle body never grew, but her stomach blew up like a balloon. Honestly, she looked like a zeppelin. Many times I contemplated throwing her up in the air to see if she would float down. We figured that Izzy was likely an adult cat when he found her, but malnutrition had stunted her growth.

Anyway, turns out Nibbler was nourished just fine. Where we failed was in teaching her life lessons about living morally. It's always difficult adopting at such a late age, when all the most critical developmental years have passed. It's not her fault she came from a bad home situation.

Right, so she got knocked up. Probably by that womanizing yellow cat. Jerk. We figured this out two days ago. She had five kittens last night. At 2 a.m. Under our bed. I'm sure I'll be posting pictures as soon as Nibbler allows them to emerge from the nest she dug for them out of the underside of our mattress. Why couldn't she have given birth under the house?

It sucks for her, because she normally spends more time outside than inside and now she's pretty much sequestered. The poor thing seems to feel guilty about leaving the litter long enough to eat. I had to put her food where she could reach it by poking her head out.

So yeah, Chris and I are grandparents. He's beaming, of course. He already bought little toys for the babies, and he's petting them frequently so they'll know him by his smell when they open their eyes. It's adorable, in a horrifying way.

< /Cat Blog >

I'm going to spend all day tomorrow catching up on my blog-reading. I miss it so. I wanted to do that tonight but I'm so tired and I had to choose whether to read other people's blogs or update my own. Gotta look out for Number One, yo.