The Farce

This past week has been one of those intervals in life that reminds me there is some sick, twisted, hidden part of me enjoys and thrives on stress. Not a big part, mind you. If I were a stock broker, I'd be the one being talked off the ledge. But it's kind of like experiencing runner's high for the first time and thinking, "So that's why people enjoy this."

The big-to-do was over this business expo. Local businesses get together and set up booths and, theoretically, people come in off the street and look around. It's great for a landscaping company, because we get an 8x10 square to show off how we can beautify a small space...like the one in YOUR BACK YARD! See?

It all started off as this great fun thing. But the people organizing the event, who shall remain nameless, sapped the fun out of it early on. You see, we paid a certain amount of money for our booth space. Of course. But we were going to have a waterfall at our booth operating off an electric pump (it was awesome, by the way), so I thought I'd better call and make sure electricity was available. I talked with the Powers that Be and they said sure, fine, no problem. Would it cost extra? No. Three days later, I get a fax, sent to all participants, saying that if anyone would like electricity, there will be a fee...a fee that amounts to almost as much as we paid for the booth in the first place.

So I talk to the place where the expo is being held. Do they charge extra for use of electricity? No. So why are we being charged for it? We shouldn't be. Right. Time for a one-on-one. I go to the PtB and ask them why we are being charged for electricity, especially since I asked about it specifically earlier that week and was told the exact opposite. PtB told me that, well, they were getting a certified electrician to do the electrical work so that everyone would be safe and sound. So, is this a new development? No. They just weren't aware they would have to pay for it before. Wha? Besides, they say, none of the other participants had any problem with the extra charge, and it's still a very reasonable price for the space.

A very reasonable price that I didn't agree to. Bitch.

Sigh. Anyway, I decided to plow on, because it was such a great concept for the booth and hey, I guess it's a valid fee after all. Yeah, the event organizers are dumbasses. I already knew that. So after Mom and I take turns talking each other out of morphing into Incredible Hulks, we get back to work designing our concept. For me, that meant designing all the promotional material. I had already designed a brochure for my department, but now I needed to do three more brochures and a landscape portfolio. For some people (Laura), this may have taken an afternoon. It took me a frantic, hair-pulling week. I think I obsess too much to work in graphic arts. Or maybe I obsess too slowly. Eenyvay.

Now we arrive at set-up night. This is another issue I made sure to conscientiously ask about beforehand. When do we set up and how long do we have? Answer: Show up any time after 3:00 the day before and take all the time you need.

All the time you need = We're kicking you out at 5:00

See, I just didn't know the lingo. Do you have any idea how long it takes to BUILD A WATERFALL? I'll give you a hint. More than two hours.

No thanks to the PtB, events played themselves out such that we were able to come back and finish setting up our booth. In the process, we discovered that the Amazing Wonder Electrician had come and left us...drum roll please...an extension cord. The most expensive extension cord I've ever rented.

We also discovered that we hadn't gotten the booth space we requested. Did someone get to it first? Not exactly. Actually, it was vacant. So Mom asked politely if she could pretty please have the booth she asked for. Sure. She then, snkkt!, ripped up the Holy Grail Extension Cord which had been so masterfully taped to the floor, and dragged it to the new booth.

All was now right with the world and it was showtime. The doors opened to an angry mob of no one, just dying to get inside. Yeah, the advertising campaign was so awesome that half the participants didn't show.

You pretty much know an event is going to be a flop when the organizers put out a big sign out front that says, "Welcome to the 2005 Buisness Expo!" And yes, I typed that exactly as I intended to.

I'm really not at all certain that anyone came in off the street the whole day, but we did okay anyway. We garnered a lot of contacts among the other booth-tenders. In the end, it's definitely something I'd do again, although probably not with this bunch.

(To the person I left out of the story: I did this out of my blogonoiac desire not to identify any parties or organizations involved in said events. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble for your heroic deeds.)