Update

Well, maybe we didn't fix the pipes for good. But we fixed them for, like, two hours. That's something, right?

I kinda suspected. The fittings were too easy to tighten. The first time we did it, we wrestled with the damn thing for hours, and it still, obviously, wasn't tight enough. Kris has called a plumber, who doesn't know if he can make it today. So Chris and I may be borrowing water from the neighbors so we can brush our teeth and force-flush the toilet. It'll be just like camping indoors.