Phone Phobia

A few things.

First, Jaimie, you may think you're off the hook for that J. D. Robb book, but you're really not. I just don't want you to see it coming. *cough*NoraRoberts*cough*

Second, about the Ask Liz thing. I took an unscheduled break from Ask Liz this past week because I TOTALLY. FREAKING. FORGOT. I mean, completely. Didn't cross my mind. Jaimie asked me about it Monday night and I just blinked for a minute, as if I were some alien clone of the real Liz trying frantically to access one of the more obscure memories I downloaded from her unconscious brain. Boy did I think my cover was totally blown. But as it turns out, Liz forgets shit all the time, so the Earth friend just rolled her eyes and said, "Oh Liz."

Now, about the phone thing. I'm feeling especially candid today, so I'm going to tell you all about how much I hate phones. Cell phones, cordless phones, wall-mounted phones, phones with the curly wire thing, big phones, small phones, ear phones, micro phones...

People who haven't known me since way back sometimes have a hard time believing that I'm an introvert at my very core. I'm actually pretty proud of myself for overcoming some of the more crippling social drawbacks of that personality type, but in many ways, I'm still the posterchild. I write a hell of a lot better than I talk. I have a very few very close relationships as opposed to many acquaintances. I prefer smaller, more intimate social gatherings, and even though a great big party might sound like a lot of fun, when I get there, I'm exhausted in about 10 minutes. And as competent as I've had to become at talking to complete strangers in a friendly, outgoing manner, it wears me out. It sounds crazy, but I feel better after 30 minutes on the treadmill than I do after 5 minutes on the phone with someone I don't know, and I don't just mean psychologically.

This impairment even carries over into people that I do know but, for whatever reason, I'm not completely comfortable talking with. Maybe it's an acquaintance or maybe it's just someone I don't talk to on the phone much, even if I see them a lot in person. What it boils down to is that, as you all probably suspect by now, I ignore phone calls a lot. I'm working on it, and it doesn't mean I don't love you.

There is, however, a short list of numbers that I don't typically ignore. I started thinking about this when Jaimie said on the fleeganforum that I was hard to get in touch with, and I got all indignant and thought, "But I actually DO answer your calls. Do you have any idea what a step that is for me?"

You can leave out the comment where you point out I'm psychotic, Mr. Obvious.

Chris, Mom, Dad, West, Jaimie, Kris'n'Laura, and Mommie Ann (my grandmother). That's the short list of folks I never blow off, at least not without a good, sane, normal reason. There's other numbers that would probably fall into that category, including most other family members, but I'm only including those who call pretty frequently.

Calls I absolutely never answer include any number I don't recognize, even if it looks vaguely familiar. This often causes Chris fits. He doesn't have these phone issues and can't relate in the least to this particular quirk. He MUST KNOW the identity of the mysterious caller on the other end and can't fathom why I'm not in the least bit curious.

Calls that don't fall into either of those categories depend entirely too much on my mood. That's what I must apologize for to anyone who has been the victim of my phone-hate. Until I get that under control, you might try text messages, which for me, again with the preference for the written word, is more like opening a present.