Performance Anxiety

I was on my way home from work tonight and I remembered I needed to call someone. The someone didn't answer so I had to leave a message. Some people just don't have trouble with this. But we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and one of my weaknesses has always been hyper-awareness of any actions that cannot be undone. Namely, my voice, sounding stupid, recorded for posterity.

This is what got me thinking about all the things we stress out about in life, which for me would be a very long list. I read an article in a trade magazine where a guy said, "Stress is a decision. It's something you can decide not to indulge." Has anyone ever said something like that to you and your gut reaction was, "Well, thank you O Wise One. I am just doing this for my health, of course, but I'll just decide not to anymore and that will be that."? Because that's what I said.

But when I think about it now, I can honestly think of several things I've decided not to stress out about. For instance, how many countless times have I been on a stage in front of lots of people singing and strumming my guitar? Enough times that I am no longer obliged to chew my fingernails off in agonized anticipation. How many business calls have I had to make? Enough to be confident I can achieve professionalism that doesn't sound faked, much as I still feel like it is. How many times have I run a mile? Enough to be sure that I can do it as long as I keep moving and keep breathing. God, what I would give to have known that on Presidential Physical Fitness Week in high school.

So that's where my brain was on my way home tonight. Kind of encouraging, I thought.