Schoolhouse Suck

Did I mention a while back about how I'm taking classes in marketing? How I'm taking five courses, only two of which actually meet? How they're in the same room, being taught by the same guy? Did I mention having doubts about the quality of these classes?

Over the time I've spent in class, I have virtually eliminated these doubts. I no longer question whether or not I am wasting my time. I know I am.

Let me take you through these "classes". The first one is called Human Relations. Now remember, these are business classes. However, our "teacher" decided to take a broader view of human relations and dispose of the notion that people might actually be taking these classes in order to learn something about business. He's spent the whole time (so far) showing tapes and holding classroom discussions about personal relationships, focused mainly on marriage and parenting. Now, I'm sure that he finds this all very fascinating and frankly, so do I. I love delving; it's one of my absolute favorite things to do. Did I say I didn't enjoy the class? No. I said it was a waste of time. And yes, the knowledge of that fact does tend to cut down on the enjoyment factor. I pay my therapist by the hour to talk with me about relationships. I pay the school by the hour to tell me something I don't know.

Second "class": Consumer Behavior. At least that title's a little more clear. A little less wiggle room, y'know? This has to have something to do with consumers consuming things. Ergo, business. We're getting warmer. Thing is, our business "teacher" doesn't really seem terribly interested in business, so he shows us a bunch of video tapes that profile various successful businesses and what they do that's so great. Do I have a problem with this? Only one. I could've bought that tape series for about $200 less than it costs to take this "class".

Third "class": Physical Supply and Distribution Management. I like that title. Good strong title. Very specific. It's also the name of our textbook, which costs $100 retail at the campus bookstore and is the only thing I would've needed to do absolutely everything which is required for successful completion of the coursework. This class does not meet. We basically pick five random chapters out of the textbook, read them, and answer the questions at the end. I'm really not kidding.

The fourth and fifth "classes" are so similar they're really not worth mentioning separately. One is an independent study and the other is an internship. For the independent study, I have to work somewhere and write a 3-page paper about what I learned. For the internship, I have to work somewhere and write a 3-page paper about what I learned.

Do you guys have any idea how much it costs to go to school? I already put in my four years, okay? I'm doing this to GAIN KNOWLEDGE. What a motherfucking concept.

I recount all this because this week, it came to a head. Last time "class" met, our "instructor" handed out schedules for what would be available next semester. Would you believe that we'll have five classes, three of which will actually meet, all in the same room, all with the same instructor, who incidentally is the same "instructor" I have this semester. Needless to say, that will not be happening. Business for Dummies, here I come.