Cheers and Jeers

Everybody's talking about entertainment so I thought I'd chime in.

For the record, I loved, loved, loved Revenge of the Sith. Also, I agree with pretty much everything she had to say. (That link was stolen from Laura's blog, so go there too.) I saw the flaws, every last one of them. The story left more thirsty after it was over than I was before I saw it. It was like really craving water and getting coffee instead. I think what I loved what that for the first time since that bratty kid walked onscreen, I found Anakin to be a sympathetic character. Many people will disagree with me there, but my heart went out to him, and that's all there is to it.

Cookie talked about her newfound love for House, and can I just chime in that I'm right there with you? I've seen bits of episodes this season, but for the last three weeks, I haven't missed one. The characters are interesting and well-developed, not to mention portrayed by decent actors (even the young ones...GASP!). And Dr. House is so so funny, even though I wouldn't in a million years want him to be my doctor. I also like it because deep down, it amuses me that Chris can't stand it. It really bothers him that the main character is such an incredible ass. He just can't get past it, and he can't understand how I can.

"If I said that to you, you'd slap me."

"Heh. If you said that to me, I'd leave you."

"So why is it funny when he says it?"

"Um. He's on TV."

But the winner for Best New Drama in my book is Medium. Again, I lean toward mature, experienced actors whom I can trust to deliver the lines they're given responsibly. After watching Patricia Arquette and Jake Weber banter about who's taking the kids to school, I find Smallville and One Tree Hill unwatchable.

I guess I don't have any jeers to speak of, at least not out of the shows I watch regularly. But then, if I didn't like them, I guess I wouldn't watch them. Does it count that Law & Order isn't the same without Jerry Orbach? Maybe it counts if I throw in that I don't like the new lady ADA. But I didn't like Elizabeth Rohm at first either (even though she did time on Angel), so I'll give her a shot and try to come to terms with the fact that Angie Harmon is gone and no one will ever take her place.

Requiem for a Kitten

Sneezy is in a better place. I sometimes wonder if it's better to let nature take its course. He probably wouldn't have lived as long if we hadn't tried to save him, and maybe it would've been easier that way. I know kittens die all the time, but I didn't think Sneezy would. I thought we could fix it. One of these days, I'll learn the valuable lesson that when grief is imminent, it helps to prepare yourself for it.

On a happier note, we have a new neighbor who's super fly. And she's going to adopt a kitten, so it can stay close to home.

Also, Cookie has a blog! Welcome to the fold. The grass really is greener on this side.

Catching Up

As always.

In tonight's episode:
Why Kids Can Wait
Chris and Liz's Day o' Honda
Gearing Up for the Move
A Question for Jaimie

I. Why Kids Can Wait

Chris and I have slept head-to-head on our L-shaped couch for three out of the last four nights. I've felt compelled to stay near our kittens, because one of them is sick. It's a cute little orange kitty which we temporarily named Sneezy after the tell-tale signs of upper respiratory infection it so cutely exhibited. We have since renamed it Banshee, or Screaming Banshee, or S.B., because it has been wailing for a straight week. I thought it was having a hard time breathing and maybe it was frustrated about all the sneezing and the snot. But then, one day, I realized that the little guy was about half the size of his brothers and sisters (honestly, I think it really happened overnight). So I guess he's been crying because he's been hungry, constantly, for the last week. I didn't suspect that because he wasn't being shunned or anything. He just suddenly lost all natural instinct and could for the life of him not remember where the teet is and what it is for.

I swear, we've spent so much time coaching this kitten to suckle, which he could do just fine before, but he just doesn't get it. Half the time I'll catch him looking for somewhere to feed, facing the wrong way. So the last few days, we've been bottle-feeding him at all hours of the day and night. I'll wake up all bleary-eyed at 5 a.m. and hear him screaming, and I'll get up and grab his bottle out of the fridge. I'll hold it under hot water until it warms to room temperature, and I'll squirt some on my finger to make sure it's not too hot. It's about that time, every day, that it occurs to me I shouldn't have to be doing this yet. I'm intentionally avoiding this very thing. But I guess it's good practice, and hey, no diapers.

II. Chris and Liz's Day o' Honda

Chris and I test-drove Hondas yesterday. We want a hybrid, and all they had in a hybrid was an Accord. But we were really interested in the Civic, so we drove the hybrid Accord and the regular Civic EX, to get a feel for the difference.

Laura, Kristie, you were right.

After riding around in the Accord, the Civic felt like being locked in a closet with airbags. The Accord had XM and separate passenger temperature controls and cool stuff like that. But what difference took the biggest toll on me? The fact that the Accord had one of those awesome retracting change holders in the compartment between the seats, and the Civic didn't. It wouldn't have felt like so much of a compromise for me if not for that.

We told them we couldn't buy the damn thing that day, but they convinced us to see what financing would be like anyway. Sure, satisfy my curiosity. Why not? It took them three hours to let us know we couldn't afford it, at least not with their financing options. And there goes the afternoon we'd set aside to get our personal business done. Live and learn.

III. Gearing Up for the Move

Why is that title a shameless pun? I'll tell you why.

Jaimie's moving into her very own house later this week (w00t!), so Chris and I went over to her place last night where we celebrated by drinking wine and cutting styrofoam into the shape of gears. I cut out the biggest one and I got styro-shrapnel all over me. It was a winter wonderland in Jaimie's kitchen floor (I hope the term "winter wonderland" hasn't been distorted into some disturbing sexual idiom yet, because Laura could already make that last sentence sound trashy).

While we were cutting gears (great, now everything sounds dirty...Laura, somehow this is your fault), Jaimie gave me the honor of previewing her next Weekly, under the condition that I read it aloud. So now Chris and I have read the Weekly. And so has Jose Conseco. But you haven't. Neener.

IV. A Question for Jaimie

You know how there is no #6? Is that a reference to Season 6 of Xena, which the fans wish did not exist? Because I always just thought that was random, but if that's the case, it's really funny.

Lord's Gym

I just saw this commercial, twenty seconds ago. My first response, my only possible response, was to rush to my computer like it was the first toilet I'd seen for 20 miles on the interstate after a Sonic chili dog.

The commercial announced the grand opening of Lord's Gym, a place where you can go to enrich your body and your spirit at the same time. At first, I just assumed it was somebody's last name or something. That's what I wanted to believe. But the mural of Almighty God on the wall next to the indoor running track with a bubble next to his head saying, "You can run a 10-minute mile, thus sayeth the Lord!" convinced me otherwise. (Okay, I made up the head bubble, but not the mural. And the head bubble would come as no surprise.)

And I was worried about being judged at a normal gym.

I was trying to get Chris's attention to show him God's Chosen Gymnasium when the logo popped up at the tail end of the commercial. You guys, it was a drawing of Jesus, with the cross on his back, and it looked like he was doing a push-up. With the cross on his back. I think...I'm going to be sick. I paused it on that logo and rewound it so Chris could hear the peppy synth music behind it and get the full effect.

"Chris, look at this. It's called Lord's Gym."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, and they're really talking about the Lord."

"Oh, that's just..."

"Yeah, and look at this..."

"Oh Lord."

I honestly tried for a good 10 seconds to think the best of the situation. Maybe their hearts are in the right place. Maybe they're not just trying to shamelessly capitalize on something the majority of the population holds sacred for a buck. Maybe the point of the Jesus logo...wait, I just said "Jesus logo". No. Uh-uh. Not today.

The only thing I can figure is that they're counting on a big audience of people who think of religion and exercise exactly the same way: something they participate in occasionally to make them feel better about themselves without actually having to change.

This is both funny and sad to me, but I think if the two conflicting emotions settled their differences mano y mano, sad would win.

Feliz Dia de Madre

I've always thought of Mother's Day as a Hallmark holiday, but somehow it has more credibility now that I know they celebrate it in Mexico. Probably other places too, but I know about Mexico. The cool thing is that in Mexico, they always celebrate it on the 10th. There's none of this crap where it just has to be on a Sunday so that mothers everywhere have another excuse to drag their grown children kicking and screaming to the church of their youth. I don't know about anyone else, but the church of my youth gives me hives. Fortunately, I think it may have the same affect on my parents.

Black cloud

I got some news yesterday that made me very sad and very angry. Why you should care, Internet, I don't know. But there's not much justice in the world and maybe you care to know that.

Sorry guys, I'm Angry Liz for a while. I'll get better. But I know some people who might not, and that's not fair. But then Life's not fair. So eat it, Life. Shove it up your ass and eat it. Maybe we can be friends again next week. I'll let you know.

Anniversaries and insurance

Laura and Kris have now been married for two years and one day, and it really doesn't seem that long.

Chris cooked us all a dinner last night that wasn't specifically an anniversary dinner, but it fit the occasion. I was skeptical about his garlic herb mashed potatoes but they were really really good. I get to eat them again tonight. Neener.

On a different note, I would like to issue a formal apology to Alfa Insurance, and to Leslie, my oh so nice former agent whom I hope will let me crawl back. When I got married, my premium went way up because of some stupid rule that goes something like this:

A female is considered a youth until she is 25 unless she gets married, at which time she becomes an adult in the eyes of her car insurance provider. A male is considered a youth until he is 25, period, end of story.

So when I got married, Chris was listed on my insurance as a youth, as if he were my son or something. Ew. And Leslie suggested that another insurance company might be able to give me a better rate until he "comes of age".

As a side note, males are also considered minors for the purpose of federal financial aid until they are 23, regardless of how long they have been physically and financially independent. Apparently guys, the people you want money from don't trust you any further than they can throw you.

Anyway, I switched to Chris's insurance provider and, long story short, now they're trying to screw me. I may not be a mathemetician, but I'm pretty sure that $171 + $171 does not equal $230. I hate it when people are stupid or liars or stupid liars. But it's okay, because I'll go back to Leslie and she'll make it all better.

Pondering Pickle's Prowess

It took me all damn morning last Saturday to pick up where I left off with fleegan. You don't notice when you go every day just how much the little fleegan writes. It got me thinking, if we bound all of Jaimie's online writings -- her weeklies, dribblings, book reviews, short stories, etc. -- into a book, how long would it be? Would it be a quick read, or would it be one of those books you complain about being assigned in literature class because it's so damn long?

In any case, I think it would definitely be one of those books you end up being glad someone made you read. You'd be all, "I didn't get it at first, but after I sorta learned the language and got familiar with the characters, it was like I knew them, y'know? Also I laughed my ass off." It'd be like that.