The Fleegans were talking about superpowers today, as in what would be our super power if we had one. It got me thinking about Chris's uncanny ability to find things, or I should say, know where things are. Finding suggests looking, and he doesn't have to look. This ability of his seems to exist in full force 24 hours a day and have no correlation to his degree of alertness or even consciousness.
For example, this is a morning scenario not unheard of at the Woodlayson household:
Liz gets up and starts getting ready for work.
Chris's cellphone alarm goes off. It beeps about five times before there is any movement. Without opening his eyes, Chris reaches a hand to the nightstand and picks up the phone. "Huhluh?" Dial tone. He carefully places the receiver on the floor and reaches for the TV remote. "Huh? Hello?" Nothing.
Liz manages to crawl across the bedroom floor from the doorway where she has crumpled into muffled snickering and hands Chris his cellphone, without turning off the alarm, of course.
Chris presses every button on the phone like a sedated monkey until it stops beeping. In the time it takes Liz to catch her breath, he is snoring.
Liz continues getting ready and realizes she can't find her shoes.
"Hey Chris, do you remember where I put my shoes?"
"Huh? Oh, they're under the couch. You accidently kicked them under there last night."
"Thanks. Hey, how about my keys?"
"In your purse."
"No they're not. I already looked in my purse."
"Not the side pocket where you usually put them. In the big pocket where you keep your wallet."
"Oh, yeah, here they are."
"Told you."
"Well, I'm gone to work. Would you like a wake-up call in a little while?"
"No, those tomatoes went bad. We need to call a florist."
About Me
- woodlayson
- I find that the best way to learn about a person is to listen to what they have to say. It's called indirect exposition. Let's try that.
5 comments:
oh man, that is SO great!
jimmy woke me up the other day and as i woke i said, "hey, that's my dog barking."
I'm not even exaggerating a little bit. Funny side note: The morning after I wrote this, I asked Chris where my keys were, and he told me they were in my purse, but in the big pocket, not the side pocket where I usually keep them. No lie.
If you wake me up, you are more than likely to hear jibberish coupled with the f-bomb.
And if you ask me questions you will probably get some sort of snarky reply.
The other night Leslie woke me up (the 2nd time, not the first) and all I said when I heard her walking by my bed was "NO!"
Then right back to sleep.
I was up late reading a book when my wife turns over in her sleep and said, "Are you going to take those pillows with you when you leave?"
This kind of freaked me out we've been married a while now and I didn't realize she talked in her sleep.
Ask Chris where I put those extra batteries I bought for my mouse.
http://www.arcamax.com/zits
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